This article comes from Entrepreneur.
Here are some rules for providing feedback.
As odd as it may sound, just because you have something to say, you’re opinion may not be welcome, or it may not be a good time for the person to hear it. Start your feedback by asking, “Can I give you some feedback?” You must be prepared to drop the conversation if the person says no, or looks very uncomfortable. Also, you should ask permission to provide positive feedback as well; trust me, people will be pleasantly surprised to hear nice things said after answering yes to that question.
For greatest impact provide the feedback as close as possible to the time the behavior occurred, but don’t provide feedback when you are still angry. It benefits no one to tell him or her that you were irked that they were ten minutes late to a meeting last October. In fact, it makes you seem slow-witted and petty, which you probably are.
Telling someone that they’re “doing a good (or bad) job” doesn’t really provide any information at all, and therefore it is a useless waste of time. You need to explain specifically what you like or want changed in a person’s behavior (and sometimes both).
Telling someone that you don’t like their attitude is really just a way of telling him or her, “I don’t like you.” Attitudes are behavioral manifestations of emotions, and while we can’t control our emotions, we can control our behavior. Is it really the attitude you don’t like or is it the behaviors (sarcasm, constant complaining, etc.)?
There are few things worse than having your boss say, “People are telling me that you are…” The logical first response is to get defensive and ask, who has been saying these terrible things about me? It’s a fair question. Without knowing who provided the information you don’t have any context, and without context you can’t tell your side of the story. Some people instinctively attribute their own observations into shadowy third-party sources; this is just cowardice.
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